Having More Kids?

A few months ago, I wrote a blog about how we felt like our family was complete and we were officially done having kids. Well, we’re not done. I changed my mind and I’m (insert: embarrassingly avoiding an form of eye-contact whatsoever) . . . just crazy.

Jarod and I loving on Ali the first day she was born.

Shortly after I thought I was done I told my ecstatic and thankful-to-be-“done” husband that I felt like our family was complete, I started taking birth control pills and we began to discuss a more permanent means of birth control. I gratefully remarked how excited I was to never have to be pregnant again as pregnancy is, hands-down, the most miserable time in my life; physically everything hurts, even things you didn’t know could hurt, and even when you know you shouldn’t be upset about something so small you’re still crying hysterically. With that said, a few weeks go by and out of nowhere, pregnant bellies start popping up everywhere and sweet, fresh-from-the-womb itty-bitty babies are born.

The rational, logical Kristine was thrown out the window and I swear, the angelic harps of Susan Boyle’s I Dreamed a Dream whirled mystically in the room, the rays of Heaven’s grace shined down upon me and God nonchalantly glanced at my stomach and immediately my uterus began to ache. I desperately wanted to be pregnant again.

Pregnant with baby Aaliyanna.

I know it’s ridiculous, I’m ridiculous, but thank goodness my wonderful husband knows all these things about me so well and even sympathizes with the chaos and craziness of my mind. He even once sympathetically remarked, “I can’t even imagine what goes on in your head,” in the nicest, most sincere, non-judging way.

Jarod’s response to my explanation that God was doing this to my uterus was pretty much what can be expected from any 27-year-old father of three that thought he was officially done procreating and works an average of over 60 hours a week: lots of yelling, fighting, crying and silent treatments. This continued until the final and worst argument occurred, which included all of the above as well as insinuating that the other person didn’t care about the other, a full-night of the silent treatment and the pissed-off “don‘t you dare touch me or even think about touching my side of the bed or I swear, I will cut you“ ohh, so wonderful night‘s rest.

A few good hours and finally some rational maturity and kindness emerged and this conversation ensued:

Jarod: Can we talk about last night?
Me: Yes.
Jarod: I’m sorry.
Me: I’m sorry, too. I love you. I love you more than the possibility of a future child and if you don’t want to have another one, we can stop.
Jarod’s response and reason #996345 why I’m so lucky to have a man like him: I know but I know how important it is to you and I wouldn’t be a good husband if we didn‘t try.”

So lucky to have him <3 (July 2010).

Can I just say how much more I fell in love with him after that? He’s kind, self-less and really wants nothing more than for me to be happy. I know every girl says their husband’s amazing but mine really is.

And now, I’m going to go make a baby with him ;)

Good-Bye iPhone

We recently terminated our phone contract prematurely, paid a few hundred dollars in cancellation fees and sold our iPhones on Craigslist to a man that could never love and cherish them as much as we did. As the new owner of our phones casually walked away, I felt a piece of my heart abandon me. So why would anyone who has owned, loved and known the amazement that Steve Jobs (RIP) so kindly graced mankind in the form and ease of a conveniently handheld device, sell their beloved iPhone?

Cue in a man named Dave Ramsey, a multi-millionaire and financial advisor/ author who talks about living a life “like no one else, (so) later you can live like no one else” and the necessity of “acting your wage.” I first heard about Dave Ramsey from an inspirational SHAYTARD's youtube video in which a family of six calls the Dave Ramsey's show to share their story of how they got out of debt through Ramsey's debt-free method. I immediately became intrigued with his beliefs that living a life without debt was very possible and very necessary. Jarod and I grew up believing that a car payment was simply apart of life and using credit cards were fine as long as you could afford the minimum payment. Ramsey’s response to our former financial beliefs: that’s absolutely ridiculous.

Unfortunately, Jarod and I learned about Dave Ramsey a little too late in the game and are in the oh-so-popular group that has debt and lots of it at that. We have a ton of school debt that we didn’t really use for, ohh, say, school. We were not only dumb, but very ignorant, with our finances.

I read Ramsey's book, “Total Money Makeover,” reiterated everything I learned in the book to Jarod and we sat down and talked very seriously about our financial future. We discussed our bills and exactly where our money was going each month as well as the necessities of each bill, which brought us to a discussion about our overpriced data smartphone plans. With Jarod’s work discount we were spending over $150 each month on our phones, which looked at individually isn’t that much but when you take into account that the interest in our school loans is growing exponentially all the time we’re paying way more on our phones. To further exacerbate the notion that we shouldn’t have these phones, particularly the pricey bill, Jarod’s recent promotion at work included a company phone. We made a very hard and difficult decision, even reasoned our way into keeping the phones more than a few times, and finally said good-bye.

Does my heart yearn for the day that I can be reunited with my long-lost love, iPhone? Absolutely. My current phone isn’t even a smidge as amazing as my iPhone was but it will and must do until we can truly afford an expensive phone and plan. Thanks to Dave Ramsey, it’s pretty simple logic to me now: iPhone is a high-maintenance stiletto-wearing, salon-going, name-brand whore and I’m just a jeans and T kind-of-kid straight out of high school with a minimum-wage job. We’re just two different people on two different paths.

Dear iPhone,

I love you but I can’t afford you. It’s not you, it’s me. I hope we can still be friends? :/

Miss you,

Kristine

The Difference Between Men and Women: Love and Sex

Jarod and I shortly after our engagement (August 2004).

The summer of 2004 was my first summer as a high school graduate. It was also the summer I started a new job as a Sales Associate and the summer I would meet my future-husband and father of my three beautiful babies. I didn’t think much of Jarod at first, didn’t even consider him as anything other than a friend/ coworker for about two months. After a few rather disappointing dating experiences, I jokingly told myself I’d be better off as a nun but if I was going to date, I was only going to date a genuinely nice guy that wouldn’t waste a minute of my time with even the slightest appearance of any sort of mind-games.

A light bulb went off in my head as I finally noticed the really nice, really cute, blue-eyed guy working in the Young Men’s department at my job. Unbeknownst to me, he already had the biggest crush on me since the minute he first laid eyes on me and it grew over the short conversations we shared through passing. The minute I started liking him, he became ecstatic at the attention I was giving him because he had already liked me for awhile so he asked me out as fast as he could before I could change my mind and shortly after, we went on our first date. A week later, he gave me the sweetest card, a stuffed animal bear, whom I affectionately call Mr. Bear, and told me he loved me and to which I replied, “I love you.”

We were really young when we met; I was 18 and he was 19. Thus, we shared the kind of love that unapologetically disregards all rationale, the kind of love that could only occur when two young people first step into the world with untainted hope and a soul that has yet to feel the weight of the harsh injustices of life. We naively loved each other negating the possibility that we could ever afflict any sort of pain upon the other. We loved each other with everything inside of us and even at the time, the knowledge of how rare and pure our love was didn’t escape me. Jarod and I cherished what we had. It consumed our every waking moment and we decided to marry exactly four months and three days from our first date.

At the time our relationship was blossoming, I bought a body mist, Fresh Raspberry, from The Gap and wore it as often as I could in those early months we fell in love. The other day as I was getting ready I noticed the pink bottle containing my beloved body mist tucked behind my other body sprays and perfumes. I inhaled it's aroma as I sprayed it upon myself and nostalgically thought back to that summer in our lives where responsibilities were limited and being in love and being together was our only concern. I was transported back to that summer and all those intense emotions cascaded back into my heart as I smiled at the man that I’m still very much in love with and curiously asked, “what does this smell remind you of?”

The man whom I’ve loved and shared my life with for over seven years, whom has seen the births of our three children and has watched them grow ever so fast, leans into me with the ease that only two people who have loved one another can, gently brushes my hair to the side, breathes into the warmth of my neck, pauses for the slightest of moments and then without any hesitation replies, “sex.”

Fresh Raspberry: the difference between men and women.