What's funny about this blog is I'm so incredibly open and honest on here that sometimes I'll write things and think to myself, "I shouldn't post this. I'm going to erase this," while I'm simultaneously hitting the "Publish" button. I appreciate honesty and find no benefit in hiding what makes us all human, including stories like these. Here you go, enjoy!
1. I literally thought Country Crock was real butter up until a few years ago when my MIL asked me if I would prefer to use "real butter" when I was making dinner at her house.
Whhhaaaaat?!? I was shocked (I had been lied to for
years) and so confused but didn't want to look like an completely idiot so I politely thanked her and said, "this is fine."
2. I weighed more than my husband when we first started dating. No, I didn't miraculously lose a shit ton of weight a few years ago, the kid was skinny as f*ck. I like to joke that I carried him to bed in our early years.
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| One month into our relationship. |
3. I was the most obedient child in the world and for that very reason, I pissed my pants in Kindergarten. After lunch, my class would line up by our classroom door and as I stood in line, I raised my hand to ask the teacher if I could go to the bathroom. Unfortunately, she never noticed - until all the kids, including myself, were screaming, "gross!" and "eww!" because somehow in my little five-year-old mind I thought I could play it off.
Fake it until you make it, right?!
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| Five-year-old me in the pink shorts doing an great job controlling my bladder. |
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