A Proper Good-bye

My kids are growing and their lives are changing, as a result, unbelievably and inextricably fast. Just a few months ago, each time we dropped the kids off at the child-watch/ play area at our gym, Tristen would anxiously cling to my side as we rounded the corner to that oh-so-dreaded “place of separation.” He would use the minimal words he knew and a large array of various whines he’s perfected to communicate his obvious dismay. His voice would grew louder, the tears larger and his pain more evident as I attempted to strategically inch away from him.

The very beginnings of Toddlerhood.

 “Ohh, wow! What a cool car!!” Ohh, please let us leave, kid. (sigh)

It never worked. Regardless of the ridiculous enthusiasm in my voice and the prospective delight a very new, cool and shiny toy could bring a small toddler boy, it would never work. Eventually, I realized that my futile attempts to sway his hatred opinion of me leaving him (even for just a very short amount of time) was going to end with the same result: him pitifully pleading with his big, brown-puppy-dog-eyes that cascaded a waterfall of tears as his tiny arms reached out towards me begging, pleading for my loving and compassionate arms to scoop him up and shower him with sweet affection.



Me and Trissy, just one of the loves of my life.

And with all the love in my heart (and the selfish need to part from them for less than an hour out of the whole day), I walked away.

These days we open the door and without a second to spare, he leaves my once-much-needed-side and beelines it to whatever new toy suits his fancy. He does this without, even as much as, a glance back to see if I made it out of the room okay.

Hey, kid, where’d the love go?

I know all the constant changes my kids are going through are normal, healthy and necessary but they are happening much too fast. They're happen in less than a blink of a second.

I've come to realize that all of my children’s “first” is also a bittersweet good-bye to a “last” and in those moments, my and their sweet, beautiful lives, change. These moments, be them blissfully happy or terribly dreadful, take place with an unfortunate unawareness of it’s occurrence. It is the plight of our chaotic, busy lives that we fail to notice them.

Thus, many weeks later, I would like to give my young, sweet baby Tristen that wished nothing but for me to hold him in the warm, comfort of my arms, simply because the thought of me leaving his side for a minute devastated his precious little heart, a very tight squeeze of a hug and a sweet farewell kiss on the lips.

I’m so sorry; had I known you were leaving, I would have given you a proper good-bye. I love you, Tris.

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