Sunday, January 1, 2017

Goodbye 2016 and Hello 2017

Goodbye 2016 and Hello 2017. I love the Holiday Seasons because we all intentionally quiet our busy days and spend time with people we love, it’s another beautiful day to celebrate the gift of Jesus, and it’s a reminder that time really magically slips between our fingers if we let it. People sometimes roll their eyes at Christmas Joy that seeps too early or the redundancy of failed resolutions but I love to believe that these honored days should and are suppose to be days that remind us of how we’re really suppose to spend each day.

Christmas and, very specifically for me, Jesus is a gift that beckons nothing back but reminds us that love should be given freely. New Years’ is a reminder that we can always be better versions of who we really are but time truly waits for no one.

I welcomed 2016 with open arms as 2015 was a painful year for me. But 2016 was a mix of bittersweetness that brought along very big, swooping life changes. Life’s been an utter blessing this year but it’s, also, stretched me the most emotionally. Needless to say, I’m excited for the promise of new beginnings in 2017.

And so, here it starts …

Aren't they just beautiful?! -This incredibly unbiased doting mother ;)

Monday, November 9, 2015

Aiden: Seven and a Half

He's seven and a half and his baby-ness is dissipating with each aging day. So when he chose to sit on our laps and let us wrap our arms around him, I had to snap a picture because things like this are happening less and less. Sometimes I wonder if he feels pushed out of our laps by the smaller but much louder little ones or if he's, simply, just needing us less and less. Perhaps it's a complex mixture of the two but knowing him, I'm willing to bet he's quietly sacrificing himself for the greater good. Either way, I will jump at every chance to let my love for him be known.

Out of all my kids, he reminds me the most of the handsome man with the kind, blue eyes to the right. Quiet. Introspective. Sensitive. And kind. I worry about Aiden because the world prefers bold, flashing lights rather than the quiet, intricate goodness that can touch your soul like a really great book. It takes a while to become acquainted but once you do, they never quite leave you entirely.

I tell Jarod all the time how similar they are. He listens and nods. But I don't think I convey that every time I make the comparison, I'm also reassuring myself. If he turns out anything like his dad, then I know he's going to be just fine ❤️

Friday, August 21, 2015

the girl who holds the world in a paper cup

There are few songs that can deeply affect you your whole life. As far back as I could remember Kenny Loggins played on my parent’s cassette tapes and on the soft rock radio stations that my parent’s played incessantly to the point that I even naively believed 70’s and early 80’s music was the only kind of music that existed for more than half of my childhood.
Even as a young child, I’ve been enthralled by words in such a peculiar way that I see now majoring in English was always my inevitable path; it’s as if my heart has always been spoken for. One song with its magical array of cleverly assorted words has continued to grow with me alongside the ever increasing lines that grace my face. As a little girl, I heard Loggins sing of loving “the girl who holds the world in a paper cup.” Although, I wasn’t quite sure what those lyrics meant back then; I wholeheartedly decided I was going to be that girl.

Loggins sang “even though we ain’t got money, I’m so in love with you, honey,” and those lyrics carried me through all the years when we had no idea how we were going to pay our bills and we lived, quite literally, on love. He sang how “a smile, a face, a girl that shares my name,” changed the boy who “will never be the same,” as if he personally knew the affect my love would have on Jarod.

He sang about babies being “conceived in love,” and seeing “a family where there once was none” as if he knew how much I still marvel at these children that surround us with their presence and affection. 

He sang about the kind “little boy (being) mine,” and how a “Pisces … is a very good sign,” as if he knew Aiden’s existence even before Jarod nor I ever were a glimmer in our parents’ eyes. He sang as if he somehow knew I would tenderly sing those lyrics to our first-born in the quietness when a mother and a child’s hearts are first entangled and seemingly inseparable. 

Years have woven into our marriage and even almost eleven years later, Loggins tenderly reminds me that I need to “try to earn what lovers own,” because love is never devoid of effort; this wisdom whispers in the recesses of my mind when I selfishly demand more without loving reason.

And most importantly, he reminds me “in the morning when I rise, you bring a tear of joy to my eyes, and tell me everything is gonna be alright,” for the sun has always risen after the darkness envelopes the entire world and hope has always been miraculously prevalent. Our sole job is to, simply, believe.

Danny’s Song is much more than a favorite song. My simple words can only suggest a minuscule of the depth of emotion and meaning this song provokes in my soul. Thus, absolute joy filled me when I sang back these beautiful lyrics to the singer and songwriter himself while sitting next to the man that “shares my name,” the Pisces “little boy (that is) mine,” our three other babies who were “conceived in love,” and my best friend who often reminds me that “everything is gonna be alright.”

This moment will forever be a favorite.