|Newborn Ali with all of her crack-like addiction powers :)|
The other month we had one of the most perfect-looking Trying To Conceive chart imaginable: BDing (baby dancing) was so spot on that I was convinced there was no way we couldn’t be pregnant, BBT (basal body temperature) elevated three days after my assumed ovulation day (again very perfect) and I even had a possible implantation dip and a very convincing triphasic temperature shift. Everything (in regards to baby-making) was incredibly PERFECT.
Then a few days before I would be considered “late” I began feeling like our family was "complete" and started wondering why I even wanted another one (other than the obvious cuteness); I have the perfect little babies and in such a great gender order too. And, although this is said so often that it seems redundant and cliche but they’re healthy and we’re really, really lucky for that.
Not to mention all of the crap and expenses that come along with them, college funds, a bigger house, clothes, cars, car insurance, allowances, makeup, shoes, sports equipment, iPhones, iPads, laptops, etc., etc., etc.
|I love him so much <3|
And I miss “me” time. I miss not having to choose between sleep and doing something merely because I enjoy it. I miss not feeling guilty about leaving my husband who works ridiculously long hours with three very young kids just to spend time with a girl friend for an hour or two. I miss the dream of that successful career-woman I’ve grown up aspiring to become.
There’s so many reasons that I can rationalize to why we’re done but honestly, none of that would really matter (to me) if I had that yearning to be a mother to another child. That “need” for another child is gone and I’m actually somewhat relieved it’s gone.
Buuut probably not as much as Jarod lol :)
|<3 The Miller Family <3|