1. I literally thought Country Crock was real butter up until a few years ago when my MIL asked me if I would prefer to use "real butter" when I was making dinner at her house. Whhhaaaaat?!? I was shocked (I had been lied to for years) and so confused but didn't want to look like an completely idiot so I politely thanked her and said, "this is fine."
2. I weighed more than my husband when we first started dating. No, I didn't miraculously lose a shit ton of weight a few years ago, the kid was skinny as f*ck. I like to joke that I carried him to bed in our early years.
|One month into our relationship.|
|Five-year-old me in the pink shorts doing an great job controlling my bladder.|