Saturday, October 6, 2012

Jumping Back In

I've attempted to write an all-encompassing update for the few weeks I've ignored this little blog of mine and the attempted posts always felt jumbled, scattered and full of run-on sentences. I even have the post still in my saved drafts folder and I've realized I just can't publish such a post. I can't do it, ya'll. And on top of that, I keep thinking of things I want to write about, random things on my mind but felt like I couldn't/ shouldn't because first, I needed to perfect the update post. Well, I've finally just come to the point where I say, "F it," and I'm just gonna jump right in.

8 week baby (ultrasound).

13 weeks.
14 weeks and 8 inches of hair chopped off.
I'm almost 15 weeks and just recently have started to feel normal again. It helps that I'm no longer sticking Progesterone pills up my vag nor am I taking anti-depressant medication any longer and my anti-nausea medication is now being taken few and far in-between. If there was something I could take for exhaustion, I would happily take those but apparently, there's no such thing (safe for pregnancy) other than sleep. Who has time for that!? I remember a time I was the girl that was so against taking any kind of medication during pregnancy but thank goodness, I took that guilty "I'm going to damage my unborn child even though there are legitimate studies that say that chances of anything bad happening are incredibly rare," stick out of my butt. However, I think that guilty stick has just been replaced with the mommy guilt of not being nor doing enough for my children that are already here because of how terrible I feel.

My tired baby girl with my handsome husband.
Jarod's been a saint. Of course, he's still human and still grumbles about how exhausted he is with work and then having to pick up my slack these last couple of weeks but in exchange, I've made sure our fridge is stacked with beer and I tell him quite often how much I appreciate him. I think the best medicine for our situation, though, is that we know this too shall pass and it is the LAST time we will ever do this. Jarod and my mom like to "joke around" with all seriousness that I'm just not going to stop having kids as in I'll be Mrs. Dugger #2 but I am so done. I've already happily informed my doctor to tie these little ol' tubes up and for real, I am so so tired. Plus, if we were to have a fifth, I would feel it necessary to have a sixth and did I mention how dang tired I am??

As for my preference on gender, quite honestly, I truly don't care what the gender is. The only thing swaying me is I'd love for Ali to have a little sister but otherwise, having a healthy little one is the only thing I care about. I feel so incredibly blessed to be able to have another one that baby #4 can be another crazy little boy that breaks almost everything in my house with a little smirk on his face and I'd still feel so grateful. But for the record, my mommy instincts tell me we're going to be filling this house with a little more pink.

I have another prenatal appointment in two and half weeks and hopefully, my doctor has the time and ability to do a quick ultrasound for the gender but if not, I'm not too far away from the 20 week scan. But ohh, I'd love to know what baby's gender is - like yesterday ago! Since we essentially have everything (just need to replace a few things) for the baby Jarod's condemned buying absolutely anything for the baby until we know the gender. Plus, it doesn't help that I like Pepto-Bismol "puke in your mouth" pink for girls and anything "gender neutral" just looks like boy clothes to me.

Other than the fact that we are nowhere near having saved enough money for Jarod to take a month off leave for when the baby comes yet, I'm so ready to cuddle this little baby in my arms and for this little baby to join this adorable craziness below . . .


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