Wednesday, June 13, 2012

TTC: TTW & Feeling Pregnant

I would say that I am for sure 3DPO but there's a very good chance that I'm 4DPO because I got a decent semi-positive OPK on Saturday and two very positive OPKs on Sunday. The dates aren't really a big deal to me, 3 or 4, whatever, but the reason that this might be crucial is because I am almost certain I'm pregnant. I know that it's "scientifically" impossible to feel pregnant at this point as implantation probably hasn't occurred at this point. Whateves.
I do agree that our minds can control the perception of how we feel. We can think ourselves sick and likewise, we can make ourselves feel something we want, like being pregnant. I get it; I completely understand the necessity of placebos in experiments. The mind is a powerful thing.

BUT I do think it's unfair to discredit the thousands of women on the internet that have known they were pregnant waaay earlier than the supposed earliest day to know. I remember when I was 5DPO with Ali and I was telling Jarod a story and I busted up crying like my childhood dog just died. No joke. Shocked, Jarod took one look at me and said, "You're pregnant," and I said, "I don't know what's wrong with me." I've truly have not been thinking about what I may or not be feeling in terms of a pregnancy but I've had a few symptoms that point to, "guuurl, you are friggin' pregnant."

My boobs ache, which I really don't pay much attention to because my boobs ache often and can be an effect from ovulation, the fact that I'm getting off of the Depo, impending period, blah, blah, blah. But I've fought with my husband twice in the last few days over dumb things. Duuumb things. The first one was about money. I was so mad at him but thankfully, quickly realized I was just being an ass and I apologized. Then the fight last night was about him being more romantic. Granted, I have a vagina; thus, I like romance but I, honestly, have not cared about "romantic" things in a looong time.

I know Jarod loves me the way the guys in every sappy, romantic love story loves a girl; I'm certain of that. I don't need flowers or Hallmark cards to denote the love he has for me but ohhh my gawd, last night I was crying so hard (like wiping snot on my shirt kind of ugly-cry) because he hasn't been romantic in a long time. WHAT?! is wrong with me? (It ended sweet and I'll write a separate post about that later.) After we made up, he fell asleep and I laid in bed and thought, "WTF. I'm really emotional - I think I'm pregnant." But I brushed that off with well, maybe I need more romance. Ehh. I can't complain with more romance in my life.

But today, I walked out of my bedroom and had the strongest whiff of dog poop in my face.

Are you serious?! I thought as I looked around, pissed at the dog that I just took out. I couldn't shake off the damn smell. I checked the garbage but Jarod had just emptied the garbage last night; no poop there. I searched a little longer and then realized I was smelling the poop on the other side of the sliding glass door. (We have a little garbage can that we keep outside for dog poop that we empty out when we take the garbage out. Don't judge us; we live in an apartment and we have three kids.) We've been doing the dog poop garbage system for a few weeks now and this was the first time I've ever smelt dog poop in our house because of it. Apparently, I have freak super hero smelling powers right now.

Who knows, though. I don't want to dwell on symptoms that may or may not point to me being pregnant. We'll get pregnant one of these days - it's not a big deal if it's not this time but the timing was perfect and I'm feeling a little different. A little pregnant.

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