I'm an A**hole Shopping Experience

Jarod sometimes gets these points from work, which he can then exchange for various items (we've gotten a camera and iPod music dock in the past) but this time, he took his points and got me a few gifts cards from Macy's for my Mother's Day gift. I was super excited to find the cards in the mail. We had just gotten home from lunch, so the kids were fed and it was almost time for the babies to take their nap. Before I could tell Jarod that I was going to go shopping by myself (which as a mom is equivalent to meditating, no joke) while the babies napped, Jarod, who has a very typical-guy mentality with shopping, very sweetly said, "okay, let's go."

In my head, I was like, "ehh, are you sure?" but at the same time, I feel like I never have enough time with him and as much as humanly possible, I want to spend all my time with him. So we headed to the mall and it became very apparent that we were crunching into the little ones' nap time. We have a double stroller so Ali and Tristen were in the stroller but we had to constantly be moving and pushing the stroller so Ali could fall/ stay asleep, otherwise you could very clearly hear her little baby complaints screams. Tristen was pissed that he was strapped in the stroller while Aiden was freely walking around and Aiden kept complaining he was tired and asking to be held. Basically, it was the very opposite of anything enjoyable. Fortunately, (for me) Jarod dealt with the kids all by himself without acting the least bit annoyed or tired or anything that may have made me want to leave.

I tried on a bunch clothes, mainly dresses. I liked a few of them but of course, he didn't like them because he's a guy and wants me wear clothes that accentuate my boobs and ass. I liked these dresses because they were loose, flowing and let's be honest here, I could let the gut hang out a bit. In typical girl fashion, I put them back and then I picked them back up again and I repeated that a few times. We both liked another dress that was girly and cute (for me) and did enough for him to get a bit of a boner. Win-win situation, right? But I just couldn't get over the fact that it was $90. Seriously?? First of all, it rains and is too cold like 90 percent of the time in this state so I would probably never wear the damn thing and two, the damn thing was 90 fucking dollars. Yes, I'm a cheap ass.

After what seemed like a half hour, maybe an hour, Jarod started complaining and saying that we should go home. I completely understand how frustrating dealing with three kids are, particularly when they're all tired but really, it was my mother fucking Mother's Day. I thought to myself, I deal with this shit every single day, seriously, give me one day! We didn't argue but I was annoyed and just kept pushing that I just wanted a little bit longer to shop.

We agreed to let me look for a few more minutes so I could try to find something for my mom but we were leaving right after that. At this point, I had two dresses, a shirt and a bunch of underwear for less than that crazy expensive dress. I immediately saw a North Face windbreaker and in less than 1.3 seconds decided to put everything else back and get the jacket. Jarod laughed and said next time we go shopping for me that we're just going to look at hoodies and jackets. Oops, what can I say? This girl loves hoodies.

Somehow I managed to sneak in one more store before we left and got my mom her Mother's Day gift. We made it back to the vehicle, loaded our grumpy kids, sat down and then I looked at the clock. Ohh my gawd, we had been shopping for over three hours! I'm such an asshole. I not only made my poor husband shop with me for over three hours but I, also, made him deal with three exhausted kids throughout the duration of their entire nap while I happily frolicked from clothes rack to clothes rack.

However, the upside of this experience is we both learned a lesson that day. I learned that I'm an ass and that maybe I need to return that North Face jacket and buy myself a watch because I, obviously, have no concept, whatsoever, of time and Jarod learned next year for Mother's Day, he should just throw a hooded sweatshirt and a clock (for "me") in a gift bag. And call it good.