Thursday, December 29, 2011

Mommy Guilt

Following the lovely day I briefly lost my mind, Jarod encouraged demanded I get out of the house to regain my sanity. Prior to said-crazy day, he expressed concern that I spend all of my time taking care of everyone else and not enough time taking care of myself; at the time I thought it was true and after crying in a fetal position for a bit of time, I’m certain it’s true.

I can’t even recall the last time I got a haircut. I’m fairly certain it was before Ali, my almost five month baby girl, was born. It’s particularly evident it’s been way too look just by the look of my hair. And it’s been over four weeks since my last free hour long massage of which I’m allowed one every week. When I step myself out of my life and look at how ridiculously crazy, busy it all is I tell myself that I need to schedule in time for myself to maintain some sanity and then I proceed to start taking a mental note of all I’m going to do, Yoga on Tuesday, massage next Monday, should really get a haircut on Thursday, etc.

Must do very soon.
But then life kicks me back into reality and it’s almost 4:00pm, I need to start dinner, the boys are fighting over one of their 534 Matchbox cars, the laundry hamper is embarrassingly overflowing, crumbs for the boys' snack is thrown all around, toys are scattered all over the house and then Jarod comes home after an 11-hour day completely exhausted and murmurs, “it’s been a long day,“ as he grabs a beer out of the fridge.

Needless to say, the guilt creeps back in and Yoga class is once again rescheduled and I never do quite schedule in that massage next Monday. It’s difficult finding time for myself. I love being a mommy. I love giving my time and love to the people I love most but sometimes it’s all very exhausting. I need to work on making myself more of a priority and leave the guilt behind. I need it before I find myself in a fetal position crying hysterically in an insane asylum.

Exactly where I don't want to be. New Year's Resolution: Don't end up here.
Question: How do you, mommies and daddies, find time for yourself?

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