Saturday, February 4, 2012

Dear Tristen: Happy Birthday

Dear Trissy,

I vividly remember taking the pregnancy test that told me you would be in our arms in a few short months. I remember telling your daddy it was positive and since it took months of trying to conceive you, all he seemed to muster out of his mouth was, “really?” It was a shock because after month upon month, a negative test always etched back at us. I even started believing that maybe we weren’t suppose to have another, maybe your Kuya Aiden would be it.

But I see now that it just wasn’t your time yet. We wanted a baby the minute we ached for one but you forced us to learn some of the best things are truly worth the wait.

Your father and I eagerly anticipated the 20-week ultrasound in which they revealed your gender. The ultrasound technician asked us if we had an idea of your sex and with much disappointment (of which I cringe at now) I replied, “it’s a boy, isn’t it?” to which she, who wisely knew the second you would be placed in our arms, your gender would no longer be any concern, smiled and simply confirmed our suspicions. And she was right. The very second, the very millisecond of your life, nothing (your gender, the puffiness in your face, your disgruntled look), nothing except your health and happiness mattered.

You’ve brought so much joy to our lives since the day that you were born. It is unconceivable to think of you any other way and you, once-again, taught us that sometimes we don’t know what is best for us and some things are out of our control and should be graciously handed over to God.

Before you, your father and I would scoff at unnerved parents that didn’t have control over their own child. With the naivety only young and inexperienced parents can possess, we thought we had it all figured out until you came out so very much the opposite of your brother that common sense could only be immediately slapped upon our faces. We realized that each child is different, no one has all the answers and we must strive forward in life with the humility of these truths.

I’m sure at the ripe old age of two you have no idea of the affect you have had on us but you have changed us in so many ways. You have made us more patient, more accepting, more humble and you have graced us with the lesson that God knows best. The simplicity of your breath and your very being have changed us into better people, better versions of who we once were, a better us.

There seems to be common trend of which children grow up and they realize the sacrifices their parents have made and then, more often than not, they become utterly grateful. Yet, it is us that are grateful for you. We’re grateful that you have come into our lives. Grateful that you throw out that silly notion that one can only love their first-child most. Grateful that you taught us that love knows no limits and the heart expands to accommodate.

You have taught us so much just by being alive and we will be forever grateful. There are no words that equate this enormous love I have within my soul, my heart and in my being, for you. I wish I had better words to say how much you mean to me because the words that fill my vocabulary seem obsolete. I love you with the depths of my being and the fabrics of my soul. You are such a joy in our lives and I’m so deliriously happy that you are you, in your exactness. I promise I will spend my whole life attempting to make you feel this love.

Sweet baby boy, I love you more than you will ever know. I cannot believe another year has come and gone. Happy second birthday, Trissy.

With All the Love in the World,

Your Mommy

A video of his first year of life: