In a lot of ways, Jarod's nothing like the person I envisioned myself marrying. I remember thinking specific things would be wonderful to have in a spouse like having a mini-book club at home where we discussed characters, actions and analyzed the words and sentences authors used to inflict specific emotions and thoughts onto their readers. I get really excited about books sometimes and even more excited about how well-written a passage can be - it's almost embarrassing how geeked-out I can get. Whereas, Jarod's read exactly one book in the seven and half years we've been together; rather than reading books, he could play video games for
I remember in high school I swore that I was going to marry a certain guy that played basketball for his high school team and I remember thinking how perfect it was because years ago, basketball was my life. I played daily, for hours at a time and was even kindly given the opportunity to play for a Division II college. Although, Jarod played basketball up until the seventh grade, he never had the "this is my life" kind of devotion to the sport.
In reality, these small differences don't really amount to anything. Video games, books and basketball aren't important in the grand scheme of life. Yet, it's funny how I thought these were great necessities for a partner at one point in my life. But truly, none of these things really matter.
There are big things we're complete opposites about though that could easily tear us apart, he's a homebody and introverted; whereas, I'm more outgoing and like socializing. I see our future with lots and lots of kids running around and I'm certain he envisioned a peaceful, relaxing future of maybe one child quietly playing on the floor while he read his morning paper. My mind is chaotic, darting from thought to thought, I change my mind constantly and I think in absolute extremes; there is no room for moderation in my mind. Whereas, Jarod's the most constant and schedule-loving person alive. He likes to be about half an hour early to everything and I like to think there's always a five-minute grace period.
We fought a lot early in our relationship during the "adjustment period." I think we struggled the most because we both believed clearly our way was the best way and the other should adhere. Over the years, we've come to accept each other with the grace and kindness we give to our children. Jarod chuckles at the schemes in my mind and I help soothe that mind of his that can easily stresses over the browning of a banana.
I try harder to be on time and he tries hard to not look at the clock. I try extremely hard to adhere to his daily schedule (especially on work nights, i.e. he about dies if he's not in bed at a certain time) and he agrees to sharing my dream of having a big family. I guess, since we've adamantly decided that we are going to be sharing this life together we're forced to learn to work together, accept our differences and simply, be kind to the other despite our faults.
These days when he plays video games, I'll happily bring a book to the coach and sit beside him. When I think our children should grow up with a dog, he jokingly(/seriously) tells me, "you're gonna make me go insane one of these days," as he drives me a hour and half in traffic to pick up a baby pup. I sit patiently as he shows me videos and pictures of a million different cars and I listen to him explain the intricacies of his job (seriously, yawn). He's the least romantic man I've ever met when compared to the realms of Hallmark, red roses and sweet romantic movies; whereas, a romantic movie, regardless of how many times I've seen it, can easily bring me to my knees and have tears streaming down my face in mere minutes. Yah, I'm that girl. But I've learned to see true love and adoration in the way he shares his love. I've learned to appreciate a man that kindly agrees to have a fourth child (even though it contradicts his own vision of what he thought his life would be) and a man that works hours upon hours at work in order to, in his words, one day, "buy me a house." I see his love through the practicality, which is who he is and is what I love about him. I'm crazy and all over the place and he's as steady as an oak tree and through simply standing beside me, he grounds me.
We're completely opposites from each other. He's not the man I envisioned I would marry but I'm so, so glad he's the one I love.