Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Aging One Day at a Time

Baby me with my mom and my two older brothers in Colorado.
As I’ve aged these last twenty-five years and life has taught me a thing or two, I’ve also been graced with a greater calmness inside of me. Granted, I still crave the ease a youthful body once-provided me, the spontaneity and forgiveness a lack of responsibility entitled me and the ability to kiss, hug, cuddle and make love to my husband at any time of any given day.

Over the years, especially my early twenties, I’ve invented myself, reinvented myself, held an opinion as truth and changed that truth as quickly as swift as the passing of a hiccup. The biggest factor I’ve found in becoming who I want to be. A loving mother. A sweet wife. A caring friend. A loyal daughter. And the woman I admire. Is the gentle acceptance of knowing I don’t know a damn thing. I’d like to believe that it’s as easy to say as it is to do. Some days it pains me to not know everything. Some days I feel like a failure because I'm not quite sure how to discipline my children's individual needs. Some days I hate how, even after seven years of marriage, we still fight and sometimes it takes us hours to find some sort of compromise.

I’m slowly evolving and although, I am still far from truly becoming the woman I always hoped to be, I like the quiet ease that's coming over me. More often than not, I feel serene calmness moving forward in life accepting that there is much to learn. I vow to that I will take each day, one day at a time with an open-heart, a glimmer in my eye and the hand of the one I love while my sweet baby ducks waddle and squawk behind us.

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