The Sacrifices My Vajayjay Made

Aiden is almost four and most of the time he can count from one to ten and other times, he can’t. I blame the fact that he’s not in preschool and I suck at sitting down with him and just playing, talking, teaching him about it on a day-to-day basis. It’s not as if I just sit around on my butt and eat bonbons all day (click here to find out what I do all day) but I’m busy all day long.

So the question begs to differ: Should I have had the kids farther apart so they can be better exposed to more educational activities, more one-on-one time with me and possibly get further ahead in life? Or did I do the right thing with having kids as fast as my vajayjay could handle in order to give them life-long friends/ siblings to comfort and love them throughout their lifetimes?

Me and my beautiful babies.

The truth is, what’s done is done and I will never know which scenarios would have been a better option for my kids. I don’t know if I’ve already fucked up their childhoods/lives so much that they will later tell me I had too many children too close together as they roll their eyes and say, “didn’t you know about protection?”

I’m a strong advocate for education but I think it’s a bit overrated in preschool. Sorry but who cares that someone's two-year-old can count to fifty in Latin? Impressive, yes. But let's be honest, do you think he's really going to get laid later in life? Probably not. I was the smartest kid in my kindergarten class, I finished two years of college by the age 17 and I graduated from a pretty good college and I think it’s safe to say that my life education has amounted to this:

But seriously, I really do think a college education is a necessity for succeeding in life for the vast majority of people in our global economy and I will be a bit sad if any of my children choose a different route but do I think knowing vowels and sounds of letters is the most important thing in the life of a 3-year-old? Nope. They will, undoubtedly, know all of these things in time. I just don’t feel like I should force it in exchange for the gift that I think is more valuable: siblings.

Tristen, Ali and Aiden on Christmas morning 2011.

They are not and will not be educationally advanced at this point in their lives but they will have someone to joke about how mom and dad have very likely turned into alcoholics (little will they know that this drinking business of ours was their fault to begin with), they will have someone to turn to when their annoying, obnoxious parents are once again fighting, they will have someone that will, most certainly, not like them all the time but will feel compelled to always stick up for them, they will have a face to look to that looks eerily similar to theirs and without words know exactly what they're thinking just by a single look. I love that they will forever have one another. They are so close in age that they will go through all their stages of their youth together and I hope that they will forever remain close throughout their lives.

I know I’m insane for having kids so close together. I’m exhausted. I cry (and drink) about the difficulties of having children so close together quite often. But this is why I did it, this is why my vajayjay did it; we did it for them.

Very rare moments like this make me think I'm not so much of a "hot mess mom" for a minute <3

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