About Me & About This Blog

About This Blog

This blog is where the warped haze of thoughts, ideas, emotions and everything and anything that goes on in the process of my mind can be easily accessible and open for the whole world to see. I will write things that I never dare to say out loud into the world other than in the comfort and safety of my own bed with the one person I pour my soul to, my best friend, my soul mate, my Jarod. That is not to say that I will reveal everything and anything about my life on a blog for all to see; I have people I love and will protect above anything else, above all.

With this blog I will nag, cry, bitch, complain, annoy and possibly irritate every possible person that stops by my blog at one point or another because these are my thoughts untamed.

Generally, I am an open book and will reveal almost anything asked of me because I think there is no point in pretending to be perfect. Life isn’t about nice, clean perfection. Life is about finding hope and beauty through the horrific devastation that slams into your chest as your vision blurs, time stops and your breath escapes you. In my twenty-five years, I have learned life is nothing like we imagined it. It’s worse. And it’s better. It’s ignorant, selfish, hurtful and painful. And it is beautiful.

Life is what we make of it.

If you take nothing else from this blog, I hope you can take my honesty.

About Me

I think the most defining sentence to describe myself is, “I’m a Gemini.” I have a nervous anxiousness that I’m learning to calm. I’m perceived a million different ways by a million different people and all of them are correct, except for the ones that place me in one neat, alphabetic categorical envelope.

I don’t have a problem choosing something (career, dinner, any big life choices, etc.), my problem is I want to have it all, all at once.

I’m a genuinely kind person. I have to stop myself from being “too kind” because I get hurt, taken advantage of and have learned most people don’t know where to draw the line or simply, don’t care.

I’ve contemplated suicide and have thought the world would be better without me in it. But you probably would never know that by the smile on my face and ease of my laughter. I’ve been in dark emotional places that still make me tear up when I recall them from the shadows of my darkness. But I refuse to be jaded.

I have a wonderful marriage with an amazing husband and three beautiful children. But I’ve known the pain of a broken heart and from letting a guy make you feel like you’re not good enough.

I’m a slight insomniac and wish I didn’t have to sleep; I usually just pass out from exhaustion.

I've had sex with just one man because I put my pussy on a pedestal. I think all women should, not because I'm terribly conservative and traditional, but I think our vajayjay's are too directly connected to our hearts and that motherfucker is too precious, too fragile to fuck with. Quite literally speaking.

I had my first alcoholic beverage at the age of 20 and now our fridge is almost always stocked with beer, cranberry juice and vodka. I’ve never smoked a cigarette or weed; I never really wanted to . . . and because I'm scared I might like it too much.

I love pink, pastels, feeling pretty, makeup and wearing dresses. But I can probably kick your ass in basketball; I’d even bet money on it.

I think the parallels between my children and assholes are fantastic. But they are the reason I know of such a thing as “unconditional love” and for that I will forever be grateful to them.

I’m too conscious of the consequences of actions. I’m annoyingly responsible.

I think things that I’m certain people would never think of me to think or say. And I wouldn’t say them in real-life, just on a self-centered, self-absorbed blog on the internet for the whole wide world to see.

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